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Showing posts from December, 2019

In his time of dying

Years ago when my mother passed, I was not mature enough to process the event. It was the worst day of my life. I cried my eyes out. I was not mentally prepared for it even though I should have been considering she had metastatic cancer. Later when my father became terminal, I was wiser and more realistic than I was back then. My job requires me to deal with death and breaking bad news to people. I know enough to know what sick looks like, what the prognosis is. So I knew what was coming even before his doctor spoke to me. Being more aware certainly does help. It helps making the right decisions, like choosing not to intubate if things came to that. I knew that would not be what my father would want. But despite those advantages, the pain is still as bad as before. If not worse. Reflection Knowing that his time is coming to an end meant a lot of time sitting quietly reflecting on old memories. My father was not a perfect man. Far from it. I had often resented him because he wa