Friends in Medical College



When I was in my final year of medical college, one of the most inspiration professors that I had the fortune to have learnt from asked the class something peculiar. He asked each student what he/she thought was their biggest asset in life. A variety of answers came, with most replying that it was their parents. And then my turn came.

"My friends,"I replied.

"Exactly," my professor remarked. "That's the answer I wanted to hear."

I had truly meant what I had said. I was extremely fond of my friends. But my professor had a different point of view.

"Your friends, colleagues set the boundaries of what we can achieve. The more ambitious they are, the more ambitious you tend to be. And vice versa. So it's always wise to choose your friends carefully."

"Stop looking at those around you,"my professor continued. "Start looking at the best in the business. What are they doing? How did they get there? That's how you'll improve."

In all my years as a medical student, this was the most important lesson that I learnt. I had learnt to stop looking at the people around me to define what I needed to learn, what I needed to achieve. I've never been the brightest student but I've managed to learn and I'm continuing to learn more than some of my peers who have constantly outperformed me in terms of marks. This was only possible because I was taught to stop looking sideways and start looking up.

It's amazing how when one person in a group lifts his/her game, everyone else steps up a little bit too. One of the best ways of learning is by Feynman's technique where you learn by teaching others. Attempting to teach will unravel gaps in our understanding of a subject, enabling us to remove these weak areas with repeated reading.

Bittersweet Memories

When I look back on this lesson, it brings some bittersweet memories. Friendships, especially in a medical college, change over time. We get split into different groups. Some lag behind. But the biggest change comes during internship. Going to study in the same class and working together are 2 very different things. Being classmates is easy, being colleagues not so much. It doesn't matter how charming a guy is or how pretty a girl is, if he/she doesn't fancy doing work in a hospital, then that person will very quickly become public enemy number one. You'll enjoy working with those who want to work and despise those who try to find excuses not to.

Most of the friendships that I had in mind when I said that they were my asset back then have now eroded. Friendships in medical college are born out of convenience and circumstance, it's no surprise that they don't last long if it is no longer convenient. I had a rude reminder of this fact recently when once of my close friends said "Yeah, we used to be friends,"inadvertently when I was nearby. An inadvertent dagger into my soul.

I have stopped looking at the people in my hospital as friends, I treat them as colleagues, acquaintances. It's easier that way. Every friendship in the hospital is temporary. Eventually either you'll leave or everyone else will.

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