Showing that you care

Having been a bystander in several hospitals in multiple states over almost a decade, I can confirm that it is one of the most unpleasant experiences one can go through. But they have given me a unique perspective now that I work on the other side as a doctor.

Even in most posh hospitals, unless you're capable of coughing up the extra cash for a room, you'll probably be sleeping on a chair or even the floor with mosquitos for company. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is the waiting, the wondering and the fear of not knowing what's going to happen, especially if a loved one is undergoing a difficult surgery or is in the ICU. Everything else just adds to the anxiety and helplessness of the situation.

All of these factors result in you being on edge all the time. And the way the healthcare team interacts with you can make a huge difference in how you interpret the standard of care.

When my father suffered a stroke, it was one of the scariest few days of my life because he was the only real family I had left at that point. The neurologist showed me some scan reports that showed how around 75% of the right side of his brain was damaged. This pretty much left me shit-scared for the next few days.

When I look back on those few days in that hospital, I remember the fear I had. The sort of fear only a single child can understand. But I also remember the way the doctors and nurses interacted with me. Every day at rounds, a different doctor would come but each one took about 5 minutes to make sure I understood what exactly was happening and what they were trying to do about it. Mind you, it was a very busy hospital with several sick patients. All of these interactions left me with a very good impression of the hospital, the doctors and the nursing staff.

Fast forward to another hospital. My father underwent a surgery to decompress his brain and was in the ICU for several days. The situation was almost the same and the quality of care was just as good if not better than the previous hospital. I know this because I had just finished final year MBBS at the time. But the attitude of the team was different. They were colder and more detached. If I wasn't from the medical field, I'd certainly be fooled into thinking the previous hospital was much better purely on these interactions.

Working as a doctor now, I realize that it is not easy to say the right things at the right time. It takes a lot of effort to empathize with patients and bystanders and gain their trust. It's much easier to take a mechanical approach rather than invest emotionally in other people. But these little things do make a difference. The reason that a lot of people are drawn towards alternative forms of medicine is that they tend to have a more emotional approach to their problems.

Patients don't just want medicines. They want to be treated by someone who they think really cares about them and their health. Littles acts of compassion can go a long way towards improving the doctor-patient relations.