God's Justice

We as a country are obscenely obsessed over exams, that too even when our kids are at a young age. Learning and growth take a backseat to the numbers on the marksheet. Many of my friends still have panic attacks before exams. 

The good thing about medical colleges is that the marks don't matter anywhere near as much as pass/fail. The bad part is that during practical exams, things which have no relation to academics can be used to decide if you'll pass or not. 

It's been about 5 years since my KUHS final year results came. I passed. Ideally, you'd hope that a sense of happiness and relief would result from this. But what I got instead over the next few months was a sense of unbearable guilt over things I had no control over. 

My Big Mouth

The problem first began the day before my 1st surgery theory paper. We had about 3 days gap and during a small break from studying, I decided to do what most people do and browse Facebook. 

It was there that I learnt that one of our most beloved faculty was leaving the college, that too on poor terms because of not getting paid. Being a dumbass 22 year old at the time, I put some small comment in support mentioning how no one can expect any person to work for free. 

Unfortunately, people high up in the management had their eyes glued on who all liked and commented on that post (yes, seriously). Not long after that, I got a call from a VIP in the college telling me that I was way out of line. I was basically threatened that because of my 2 line comment (in which I hadn't even mentioned the college or any staff), I now had to make a big post on why my professor was a terrible human being according to them. 

I refused. I did delete the comment though (it was barely there for an hour or so from memory). 

The Threat of Suspension

I got another call the next day saying I had to attend a meeting with the higher ups the day before the exam. Not exactly the best way to focus before the test. 

So I had to make the 45 min trip next day to college from my home. I had basically begun to panic by this point because I thought I'd get suspended, or even expelled. My mind even thought about having to give NEET UG to get into another college and restart MBBS (imagine thinking this during your final year exams).  

Once I got there, I was made to wait for a couple of hours. Then I was told that due to a "traffic jam", there'd be no meeting. This may have been true but I had the suspicion that this was an elaborate ploy to waste my time before the exam to increase chances of me failing. 

Somehow, someway I managed to overcome my worries just enough to pass that exam (even if I got the Ortho essay wrong). 

A False Sense of Security

After that theory exam, I was told that the entire issue was solved by my father (who worked in the same hospital). I was fooled into thinking that was that and my mind was clear for the other papers. 

During my practicals, my mind never really thought about the previous incidents. There were good and bad moments in those 4 days (like basically everyone else) but I went into the postexam break relaxed. Little did I know that basically the entire college knew I and some of my friends got failed in medicine practicals. 

Looking back, I'm happy no one actually bothered telling me this. I got to enjoy those couple of months before internship without diving into negative thoughts. 

From what I remember of that medicine practical exam, the examiner who failed me was actually asking fairly basic questions which I answered. It was not the sort of situation where you know you're in trouble. 

It was decided before that exam that me and 3 roll numbers near to me should be failed. To make sure this happens without evidence of malpractice, official KUHS booklets were not used (we did not notice at the time but the booklet was used in all other practicals except this one). Instead, blank papers were used. 

Fate is Cruel

To understand the situation properly, one needs to get an idea of grace marks in KUHS exams. If a candidate fails only 1 exam (theory or practical), he will be given an extra 5 marks to pass. So 45/100 can pass but 44/100 fails even though both are less than 50 and technically failed. 

The plan from the higher ups was for me to fail that practical exam with no chance of passing ie I'd get less than 45 regardless of how I actually perform on that day. 3 roll numbers near me will also be failed but with more than 45. This was to be done to give the illusion that I wasn't being deliberately targeted (seriously). 

And if the medicine professors on the day actually wanted this to happen, it would have gone to plan. The problem was that the HOD was new and did not know anyone by name. It was supposed to me who got screwed that day but somehow, fate had other crueler ideas. 

Thanks to an incredible display of sheer incompetence, those idiots didn't fail me but actually failed the number next to me. Yes, you read that right. 

The Truth Unravels

Shiny (name changed), the roll number next to me, was a kind and soft-spoken girl who was always way more studious than myself. But in the few months before the exam, she was getting really bad anxiety issues due to the stress. Some days, she was even in tears because of it. She was also planning to get married to her childhood sweetheart after passing. 

After the results came, the truth started to unravel. All of us who were failed in medicine had passed all other papers easily (especially Shiny, who had distinction level marks). And 4 numbers in a row were failed, which is odd to say the least. And then slowly we learnt the truth about what happened (or at least part of it). 

I still wish to this day that it was me who got failed (with no hope of grace marks), not her. After my mother passed, my exam stress was never as bad as it used to be. I realised that there were far worse things in life than a failed exam. I would have felt awful yes but I could've taken it better than Shiny. Moreover, it was all because of my big mouth anyway that all of this happened. There is absolutely no reason why someone should be failed because their roll number is next to mine. No one's life should be turned upside down because of that. Her marriage had to be postponed. 

The higher ups decided to put an official spin on who should be blamed for this hideously executed plan. The Principal would take all the blame. It was communicated to one of the "BBC news boys" of the batch who then told everyone else. 

It made no sense in hindsight of course but at that time, I and the rest of my friends were extremely angry at him. It was only several months later that I was given a hint from another staff that the Principal was just a willing scapegoat for the real masterminds behind the scenes. 

Some Friendships Refuse to Break

Frankly, I would have understood if Shiny +/- her friends refused to speak with me again and blamed me for everything that happened. People over the years have hated me for much less than this. 

I remember a few months later, I had called her, almost in tears, to tell her how sorry I was for all the shit that happened to her. She forgave me. She never blamed me as much as she could've. It was one of the kindest things any friend has done for me. We remain in touch to this day. 

If there is any solace in this tragedy, it's that none of us 4 allowed this to break us (especially Shiny, who obviously passed with flying colours in the next exam). We all managed to move on instead of letting it destroy us or our friendship. We had more dignity within us than those who were 4-5 decades older. 

("Dignity" is a bit of a stretch I admit since I did go on a drunken rant at a college function a few months later & had to be dragged out but I think some people deserved that to be honest ✌️). 

God's Justice

There was literally nothing we could do or anyone we could turn to when this happened (our college union was not exactly a defender of student rights back then). But God did have other plans. 

To this day, no one has revealed to me who exactly put the order for this to happen (I'm not without my suspicions mind). But everyone connected with making it happen would be removed from their jobs for one reason or another over the next few years. One by one. As if it were truly God's design. Or Karma. Or whatever you want to call it. 

Perhaps the lesson from this is that people who do bad things will get what's coming to them eventually, even if you are not directly involved in making that happen. And it might happen long after you've moved on as well. 

Oh and Facebook is useless.