Empathy
There is no
emotion quite as unselfish as empathy. The ability to truly recognize
and feel the pain of another person is a rare gift. Many respond to
the troubles of others by acts of pity, sympathy or compassion but
how many can truly appreciate what another person is going through
emotionally?
I say it is
unselfish because it offers no direct advantage to the empathizer.
Sharing the mental anguish of another person is emotionally taxing
and oftentimes futile. But the beautiful thing about empathy is that
it motivates us to help the sufferer and can enable both the
empathizer and the sufferer to reap emotional benefits. Thus, empathy
forms the foundation for a tolerant society.
What stops us
from empathizing? Our egos. Intolerant societies build walls between
different classes, religions and genders. People are raised to form
their own little bubble in which they live and they believe that
everything outside of it is immaterial. Unsurprisingly, it is
difficult to empathize when brought up in these conditions.
Consider this. If
people knew how to empathize with those from other religions, would
there be so much hatred around us? If people knew how to empathize
with those from other nations, would there be so many wars? If men
knew how to empathize with women as human beings instead of sexual
objects, would crimes against women be so rampant? Empathize is
indeed rare and a truly tolerant society is a fantasy if the past and
present are anything to go by.
Empathy might be
essential to become a good human being but it isn’t a prerequisite
to become a successful one. Feigning empathy is actually a more
useful tool than the real thing. Successful leaders get far by
feigning empathy for the poor. Successful businessmen fake empathy
for their clients.
What about those
in the medical field? Doctors are in a unique profession where
empathy is a requirement, not a bonus. Patients expect empathy from
their physicians. But doctors cannot realistically be expected to
truly empathize with the sort of pain different patients go through.
Furthermore, true empathy is always a threat to objectivity.
So what is the
solution? While true empathy might be difficult to accomplish, it is
not unreasonable to try to understand the patient’s anxieties and
fears. The better we resonate with the patients’ emotions, the
better rapport we will create with them. Not only will a better
rapport create improve the patient-physician trust and treatment
compliance, it will also improve our own experience as a doctor.
Empathy
is a natural emotion. The world will not become a better place and
you will not become a better person by faking it. How do we make
society more tolerant? There is no simple answer but trying to
understand each other instead of thinking only of ourselves would be
a decent start.
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