Sutured Dreams

One of the more annoying roles I played over the years was being the class representative of my batch for about 3 and a half something years. It was a thankless job which made you someone to blame for both your teachers and as well as batchmates, even for things you could never control. People come to class late? Blame me. Stipend delayed? Blame me.  So yeah, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who enjoys some peace of mind during their college years but looking back, I did learn some important life skills during that phase. The most important of them was learning how to have difficult conversations that no one else wanted to have.  I had to talk to people in authority to get some student demands (from the reasonable to the very silly) done. This often did not end well. But you slowly build a resilience to such things. I just took it as part of the job and didn't take anything too personally (most of the time anyway).  Once I became an intern and later as a working doctor, ...

Doing a movie review after a seriously long time so yeah, there'll be some spoilers below.  It's always best to go into a movie with as little expectation as possible. Expectations are what leads to to a feeling of "Wait, is this it?" later on.  So I saw Hridayam the other day, which is also known as the "the greatest love story in the history of the universe" apparently. 8.9 on IMDb and 94% on book my show got me curious enough to actually pay to see this.  There were a lot of parallels between this film and another hit movies from years ago, Premam. Both focussed on college days and failed love sagas which appealed to the masses with a nostalgia trip. And both are pretty overrated once you remove the nostalgia.  An Unconvincing Lead The film's protagonist, Arun (played by Pranav Mohanlal), is a fresher at an engineering college in Chennai. He falls heads over heels with Darshana. Everything goes splendidly until he decides to cheat on her the first ti...

A large portion of this blog has involved me venting about how I've had to deal with selfish and cruel people over the past few years. Sometimes it's easy to forget that not everyone that comes into your life will be like that. It's important to acknowledge the ones that showed unconditional kindness as well.  Jim The first time I'd met Jim was about 3 years ago. He was looking for a place to stay near his daughter's new school and my mother's old house was only a stone's throw away from there.  The house was empty for a few years as my parents had the habit of asking for more rent than it was worth. Some renovations were needed but I felt it was worthwhile with Jim interested. Money was tight but it would be a profitable move in the long run. It helped that Jim was kinda desperate as I wouldn't be able to drastically improve the place in the next year because of financial troubles. And the rent he gave was the only real stable income I had that year du...

A friend recently told me that I tend to exaggerate the bad things that have happened to me over the years.  "We all have problems. There is nothing special about what you're dealing with," I was told.  Beyond the crudeness of that statement, there is an undeniable truth to it. In many ways, my life has been privileged and I have never had to deal with the horrible struggles many in war-torn regions across the world go through each day.  But the way the mind works, it is not going to find solace in things like that. "Well my life isn't as bad as that guy there so it's all good," is not the way anyone (except maybe a psychopath) thinks. Our pain means the most to us and us alone. It is futile to try and compare it to someone else. These are not quantifiable entities.  After recently turning 27, I've realised that over the past 5 years or so, I've never really had a chance at a stable, happy existence.  Alternate Ending 1 Sometimes the truth just i...

  As a doctor, people around you expect that you’ll lead a certain lifestyle – big house, big car, big everything. Regardless of whether you’ve only just graduated MBBS or even if you’re still an intern, society tends to believe that one must lead an extravagant lifestyle otherwise one is not a real doctor. This is of course a monumentally stupid assertion. Doctors, especially those at the very beginning of their careers, are never going to be paid * more * than what they are worth. Now think about what rich means. You’re rich when you essentially don’t have to work very hard to earn loads of cash. Or when you can stop working anytime and the cash will keep on coming. That is definitely not what happens in the medical profession. Not at the start of your career anyway. If you think doctors are being paid reasonably well, it’s because they have to work long shifts, deal with life or death situations and face exposure to serious infectious diseases on a daily basis. Not to fo...

As a child and young adult, I was constantly frustrated by how my parents would be overprotective of me. It was not surprising however since my parents married late and I was their only child. When I went on a school road trip to Kodaikanal (not sure if it was in 11 th or 12 th ), my father could barely sleep for the few days I was gone. Not that he told me of course, my mother did that a few years later (he rarely shares his emotions, a trait I've inherited). He sold his bike as soon as I turned 18 because some psychic said I’d die in a crash (seriously). My mother would also be scared out of her mind whenever I’d go (or even think about going) on a long distance trip on my own. The older I grew, the more frustrating this style of parenting became for me. I would never advocate anyone to pick up this style of parenting. It hindered my growth as a human being and I was being left behind by my peers in a lot of ways. This sort of pampering also fostered a level of petulance t...

 1. Many toppers seem to be using multiple platforms these days. I'm still not in favour of this completely because - 1) It will cost quite a lot of money (which is a big deal for those struggling to get by as it is). 2) Most people struggle to finish even 1 resource completely, let alone 2. But if you are going to do this, you must have a very clear idea in mind what exactly you want from each resource (videos & notes of 1 + QB of another or something along those lines). Don't get multiple resources at the start of your prep thinking you'll do great by doing everything twice - that's just setting yourself up for disappointment. 2. If you are at the very start of your prep, live classes will probably be best because I think complex concepts are best understood at normal speed instead of 2X. If you are in the last lap of your prep though, seeing revision videos at an accelerated speed will help you cover more ground. Of course this approach will need to be adjusted b...