Sutured Dreams

“ That is the one unforgivable sin in any society. Be different and be damned!” ― Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind Every person on this planet is born unique. But that depends on what you mean by unique. Are we each unique in terms of fingerprints and DNA (excluding identical twins)? Yes. But it would be extremely unsatisfying to refer to the ridges on your fingers as the most unique thing about yourself. Once man has secured the luxuries required to ensure survival, he turns his attention to deeper thoughts. He begins to search for self-identity. He yearns to stand out from the rest. He sets out on his own path. The desire to be unique is an essential trait from an evolutionary viewpoint. If everyone was naturally contented with the way everyone was living their lives, the human race would never have been able to reach where it has today. Some of the most influential people in history were the ones courageous enough to stray from the beaten path. But then why doe

Manchester United have now appointed their 5th manager since the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson in 2013. While managers have come and gone in this tumultuous period for the club, one thing has remained constant. And that's the club's executive vice chairman, Ed Woodward. After taking over from David Gill, Woodward never appeared to be a perfect fit in his role. His football background was questionable. But while his record in terms of managerial appointments and transfers is unconvincing, there is no doubt that he knows how to please the fans in the short-term. It is arguable that United's malaise began even earlier than his appointment. After years of frugal business in the transfer market, the club was  poorly prepared to deal with the inevitable retirements of club legends Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs. The decline of other senior players like Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic, Patrice Evra, Robin van Persie and even Wayne Rooney did not help matters in the slightest.

After almost 2 and a half seasons at Manchester United, Jose Mourinho has left the club. This makes it yet another club that has sacked Mourinho in his 3rd season. For United fans, it has not come a moment too soon. Jose had managed to suck the enjoyment out of the club with his lifeless brand of football and his toxic personality. I was one person who believed that Mourinho was the right person to take over when Sir Alex Ferguson retired back in 2013. United needed a big personality to handle the pressure of being Fergie's successor and Jose's methods did not seem so outdated back then. Instead, United (with Sir Alex's recommendation) went for David Moyes who found himself out of his depth at the club. When United did hire Mourinho back in 2016, I thought it was the wrong call. United were a club in crisis after not qualifying for the Champions League. And Mourinho seemed to be in a crisis of his own, with his final season at Chelsea going horribly wrong. A club

They say the songs you listen to while growing up stay with you more than any you will hear later in life. I have to agree. Some of the songs I heard during high school certainly played a role in shaping who I am today, for better or worse. 1) Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees She lives with a broken man A cracked polystyrene man Who just crumbles and burns In contrast to bands that sing about hope and fantasy, Radiohead through their music has always served as a reminder that we live in the real world and its inadequacies. Fake plastic trees is a song ahead of its time. It is a lamentation of the increasing dehumanization of the modern world. On a simpler level, it's a tragic love song. Thom Yorke's lyrics convey the thoughts of a man clearly dissatisfied with his relationship because he doesn't feel any genuine emotion in a world which seems to be becoming more and more plastic with each day. The greatness of the song lies in the fact that Thom does not us

Madhupal's Oru Kuprasidha Payyan is a film with a tried and tested plot. It succeeds not because of the uniqueness of the story it has to tell, but because of the way in which it is told, as well as the strong performances from all the leads. The first half of the film is primarily introductory. A familiar "innocent man framed for a crime he didn't commit" story is set but the way it unfolds keeps one guessing as to what would happen next. The protagonist, played by Tovino, is sympathetic enough to get one invested in the story. Ajayan, the protagonist, is not a traditional hero. He is weak. He is beaten-up. He confesses to a crime he didn't commit due to torture. He is assaulted in prison. He has been wronged and it is clear there is little he can do about it on his own. It is in the second half that the film changes pace, turning into a courtroom drama. Much like 12 Angry Men , Oru Kuprasidha Payyan is not about proving who did commit the murder but

As thou exit the cocoon Does nostalgia compel thou to look back? At all the hours spent in darkness Preparing for the freedom outside. But what is freedom to thee? Besides a battle against time Thou bask in the sunshine Only to be crushed like a bug by cruel fate. Nature will not permit thee to shine for long So fleeting is thy existence But shine on thou will Bringing a smile to many with thy beauty. Were thou afraid to leave thy cocoon? As I am to leave my own asylum Can I spread the same joy as thee? Or will I suffocate in solitude for the rest of my days? So many doubts, so many questions But the answers are too few I wish to be ignorant, I wish to be free To live as gracefully as thee.

Day before yesterday, just before my shift was about to finish in the evening, an ambulance arrived. Before the patient was shifted, the bystander showed me a referral letter. He also showed an ECG that was obvious ventricular fibrillation. The hospital that referred the patient was about 20 km away. I immediately ordered to shift the patient inside, knowing full well that the prognosis was grave. Ventricular fibrillation is a condition where the heart has stopped pumping blood effectively. The patient will have no pulse. CPR was initiated and the patient was intubated. But it was too late. The 74 year old lady was in asystole and despite our efforts, she could not be revived. There was nothing that we could do. To have any chance of revival from a VF cardiac arrest, you need high quality CPR and early defibrillation. Unfortunately, this patient received neither during the 45 minute transport. This is not a rare incident in Kerala. Few hospitals have a defibrillator. Vast ma

The biggest difference between an intern and someone that has just passed out is that there is no room for error once you start practicing on your own. You are responsible for any mistake that you make. And any mistake can always land up in legal problems if you are unfortunate enough. No matter how much you read, nothing beats experience. Seeing a case at least once will help you react better - faster, calmer and more efficiently than if you are seeing it for the first time. Practicing at various casualties over the past few months had provided me with a certain degree of confidence. But all of that counts for little when you see something you're not familiar with. So a few days back when a patient came with a history of trauma followed by what appeared to be quadriparesis, I made a rookie mistake of not immediately placing a large bore iv line. I had read about neurogenic shock before of course but somehow that had not struck my mind immediately. And as with most trauma

There is no emotion quite as unselfish as empathy. The ability to truly recognize and feel the pain of another person is a rare gift. Many respond to the troubles of others by acts of pity, sympathy or compassion but how many can truly appreciate what another person is going through emotionally? I say it is unselfish because it offers no direct advantage to the empathizer. Sharing the mental anguish of another person is emotionally taxing and oftentimes futile. But the beautiful thing about empathy is that it motivates us to help the sufferer and can enable both the empathizer and the sufferer to reap emotional benefits. Thus, empathy forms the foundation for a tolerant society. What stops us from empathizing? Our egos. Intolerant societies build walls between different classes, religions and genders. People are raised to form their own little bubble in which they live and they believe that everything outside of it is immaterial. Unsurprisingly, it is difficult to empathize wh

Gary Neville, the great Manchester United right-back, in his autobiography recalled what he had to go through at the youth level before he was given an opportunity with the first team. Neville said that when his youth coach would tell him to run 6 miles in the morning, he would run 7. He and some of his teammates in the youth team that did this, made it to the first team. The others who did not put in the hard yards, did not. A similar attitude is required in medical school. It is not a pre-requisite to be supremely intelligent in order to become a good doctor, just like how you don't have to be naturally gifted at everything to win trophies in football, like Neville. Of course, it helps to be able to learn things quickly, just as it is to have Messi's ability on the ball in football. But attitude and hard work is what shapes good doctors, much like it is essential for young footballers. Ravel Morrison was once touted to be most talented prospect in English football sinc

An injury-time winner from Marcus Rashford insured that Jose Mourinho's men came away with all 3 points from the Vitality Stadium but one wouldn't have considered that likely after the first 30 minutes. Bournemouth started the first half strongly, completely dominating the first 30 minutes of the contest and taking the lead through Callum Wilson. Though the goal came via a cross from the right, most of Bournemouth's attacking came down the left hand side with Ryan Fraser and Adam Smith looking dangerous as always. It was only after the half hour mark that United finally started to look dangerous. Alexis Sanchez put in one of his better performances in a United shirt, making dangerous runs into the channels. It was one such run that led to him crossing for Martial to slot home the equalizer. Sanchez was also unfortunate to adjudged offside when he was put through by Fred and was one-on-one with Begovic. Fred had earlier spurned a glorious opportunity to equalize w

When I was in my final year of medical college, one of the most inspiration professors that I had the fortune to have learnt from asked the class something peculiar. He asked each student what he/she thought was their biggest asset in life. A variety of answers came, with most replying that it was their parents. And then my turn came. "My friends,"I replied. "Exactly," my professor remarked. "That's the answer I wanted to hear." I had truly meant what I had said. I was extremely fond of my friends. But my professor had a different point of view. "Your friends, colleagues set the boundaries of what we can achieve. The more ambitious they are, the more ambitious you tend to be. And vice versa. So it's always wise to choose your friends carefully." "Stop looking at those around you,"my professor continued. "Start looking at the best in the business. What are they doing? How did they get there? That's how you

Depression is a terrible disease to live with. A friend of mine used to call it a cancer of the mind. I would only discover how appropriate that description was many years later. The worst part of depression is finding someone who understands what you're going through. And even if you do, that person may not be the right person to help you defeat it. A person going through depression is perhaps not the best option to get you out of it. The general misconception is that you become depressed because you have something to be sad about. But that's not always the case. When you are feeling bad when you have no reason to be, that's when you realize you have a problem. Depression is an exercise in sabotaging your own chances of happiness. You arrange situations which are not likely to go in your favour and lament the end result. Every cry for help is too vague in design to attract anyone's attention.  No one seems to understand what you might be going through but it